A friend of mine recently lost her son, who became a quadriplegic after a car accident several years ago. When I visited her about a week later, she was noticeably still shaken and upset. Often during our conversation she would drift and I asked her if she was OK. She admitted to me she had regretted not being able to see him more over the time since she, herself, became dependent on a wheelchair. As I watched her reminisce I recalled the regret I use to feel about the loss of my marriage. I consider it a loss and I may put that on paper one day.
There was a time when I too would regret when I allowed my ex to act out the way he did in front of our children. I realized later that I did not have the power to stop him. I considered myself a bad mother for allowing them to be exposed to such a horrible example of a father. I often wondered when they would come to me, in the future and ream me over for my part in that mess. But they have been nothing but loving and supportive. Of course not unscaved. My daughter has father issues and my son carries a lot of anger. I feel blessed that although their father pulled them away from God, they are both saved and attending church with their families. Hope abounds.
Talking with my friend and remembering my own regret reminded me of a few truths. Most importantly, Jesus died to save us. He tosses away our sin once we confess, so according to Him, it never happened. Next it is in the past and we cannot change the past. We can only learn from it. Regret steals our joy and Jesus calls us to be joyful. Pray up whatever is stealing your joy and let Jesus take care of it. I guarantee He will do a much better job anyway.
I love the lyrics to Matthew West song “Hello my name is”. The first issue the song addresses is regret.
“Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget”
That little voice in your head is the devil robbing you of your joy. It took me a long time to realize what that voice was and the story Matthew West tells as the inspiration for this song is what really helped me to finally recognize those lies the devil is trying to rob my joy with. The fact that we are the children of the one true king is more than amazing and He loves us like no other.
Thank you, Goodnight and God bless.