How could I be so stupid? How could I miss that so easily? What have I been thinking and doing? Wrong!!! I was thinking and doing it all wrong!
For several months I have been trying to pray and decide if I should attend another church. Since I am a student of counseling, I have been making difficult social choices. I stopped seeing a very nice man because he wanted a physical relationship. I want a challenge and to live a Christ centered life. I noticed that the church I attend condones several behaviors that are not Christ like and thought about going to another one.
This is a difficult decision because my parents and sister like the current church. While I know they cannot be persuaded to change their faith and conform to this, I felt it necessary to look elsewhere. Mainly because I am working on my masters in Christian counseling. I would be a hypocrite to say something to a patient that my church says is OK. I cannot portray a Christ follower and not completely be one.
So for several months I have been scoping out possibilities. I have my sights on one I went to when I was a little girl. I have prayed and made plans to attend one of their Wednesday night prayer meetings. Mostly because it is a smaller crowd and I could get a feel for the people etc. I keep having something come up that prevented me from going.
Either it didn’t correspond with my eating schedule, I didn’t have a vehicle, the weather was bad and even the one I have been having more lately and more strongly. That is a sense that God doesn’t want me to go. I figured I was praying enough that God was telling me not to go for whatever reason and like a good soldier, I listened. Well, this week in my illness, I finally realized I had it all wrong. The negative, don’t go messages and feelings were not from God after all. They were from the other voice that creeps into my feeble head. We are all feeble in that respect so don’t feel bad about it. Just pray more that God will keep His voice louder than the other.
So now that I have it right…I’ll be going to that Wednesday night prayer service real soon.
The moral (if this warrants one): Keep praying! Read God’s word so you can know what you think He wants is really from Him and not the other.
I avoided naming the “other” on purpose, mostly to be funny. I think it denies him some satisfaction. HA!