I started writing about my life with my ex bi-polar, schizophrenic, narcissistic sociopath husband after I finally worked up the courage to leave him. I have wanted to turn it into a story befitting a book where only the names were changed to protect the innocent. I think I left it alone for a while because it was still so painful to deal with. Well, this week I started to edit and go over it. The pain was minimal so I think I’m ready to finish it. Wahoo!
I am trying very hard not to make it all his fault. I don’t want it to sound like a wife-bashing story. I recognize my fault in all of this but I also know that I have healed because I have sought to. He chooses to remain in the hell he has created for himself and continues to blame everyone for it. I know they call that denial but it is hard to look at face to face. The man in the mirror is rarely kind in that respect.
I think I will dedicate the book to him. I won’t name him specifically, that would give him too much credit and make him famous which fuels his ego. I will also name my children since they are the ones that started my “awakening”. If it wasn’t for their insight and questioning everything that was happening, I may have never been able to confront my abuser. I only hope my ability to overcome this will somehow encourage my children to look out for behaviors that could be hiding in their own mirrors. My children are good Christians and have good family to support them which doesn’t make them immune, but hopefully aware. The lack of family support may have been part of my ex’s issues all along. But I may not learn the reasons this side of Heaven. I know God knows and that is good enough for me.
So wish me luck as I get a manuscript ready and we’ll see how it goes.
Stay safe and God bless.