I’m not sure where it came from. I was busy doing my thing when suddenly I realized it was there. Sitting pretty as though it was accustomed to perching like a majestic male bird showing off his manhood for a lucky female bird. But nay, it was there. Somewhere where I find it all too often.
You know it is there because you can feel your eye brows narrowing at the top of your nose. And the usual smile has turned drastically upside down. But where did it come from? Why did it show up today, this moment?
As I write, it is still there. It doesn’t have a name. It is something which cannot be readily identified. I don’t like it. It makes me feel controlled. I am not that person. I am happy. I am joyous. I am grateful. I am content. So what is this scowl and where did it comes from?
It could be that some people say things that are condescending regardless of their knowledge of the subject. Whether right or wrong, it doesn’t matter. They just have to have their say, welcomed or not. Or that people are generally rude to each other in unimaginable ways. More than mere words, but by how they treat each other.
I didn’t watch the news today because I just don’t feel like hearing all of the bad news. It won’t make this scowl go away, that’s for sure. I haven’t said much to anyone today because, sure enough, I’ll get in the middle of something and I just don’t feel like defending anything or anyone.
I think I need a soul revival. To spend time with other believers who are on fire like I am. I’m not around enough believers to feel the fire that builds and grows, like when a group of people who are on fire for Jesus get together.
I use to go on retreats several times a year before I moved to Florida. I have friends from several churches and they would invite me to go with them no matter where my church home was. We would learn, laugh, cry and hug to our hearts content while shedding the garbage the world was throwing at us. It was a time of renewal, release and regeneration. I miss those times a great deal. I miss what it felt like to pray with a group of ladies who could all relate to each others challenges. We actually felt each others pains and joys. There is something liberating when you pray with someone going through something familiar and you are able to provide comfort and understanding that ultimately helps you to heal too.
After my walk and a cool shower I noticed the scowl is gone. It has been replaced by a slight smile. Just thinking about going on a retreat has renewed me a little bit. Given me hope. Now I am looking forward to getting together with some of my friends when I visit Carolina in a few months. Time to catch up with everyone and recharge our batteries.
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” —James 5:16
“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.” —1 Thessalonians 5:11