I am the proverbial optimist. I haven’t always been like this. It is the result of many years of intentional change. These changes were extremely difficult in the midst of a negative environment. One that eventually became the downfall of the world my ex-husband had created for himself but the new beginning for me.
I spent many years trying to “fix” him and looked for ways to make him happy even at my own expense. That was how I thought a good wife was supposed to be. I didn’t learn until later that none of that was the definition of “Love”. It was all about him. So I learned you can’t “fix” someone who doesn’t want to be “fixed”.
The man next door to us was married to my dad’s sister. She died several years ago. I guess you’d consider him my uncle but there is no relationship there. Even before his wife died, he was a womanizer. He had several mistresses over the years and stopped even trying to hide it after a while. He was never a dad to his twin boys unless you consider beating the crap out of them something a dad does.
Fast forward to now and this is where it gets weird, for me anyway. He is a liar, cheat and many more things so the only people who will have anything to do with him are also liars and cheats, etc. He has two women that live with him this week. Both make their livings in bed and are either on drugs or coming off of drugs which is pretty much the same thing these days. Now these girls are getting money from him to buy their drugs or whatever. I’m sure they take care of him, and that is all I will say about that or I will become nauseous.
Several times now someone has called EMS because he keeps “falling down”. He didn’t fall down. He won’t make them leave. He doesn’t want to be alone and is willing to put up with what they dish out so he won’t be alone or whatever. So there is nothing that can be done about them until he decides they need to go or he becomes so incapacitated that he can’t make those decisions anymore.
Why am I venting? He doesn’t deserve any consideration from anyone considering how he bilked tons of money from customers years ago. But he is human, although a bottom feeder of a human, he is still human. I am mostly frustrated because this mess is going on next to my home. I am also concerned because he obviously isn’t in his right mind. If he is, then he is worse off than I thought. Yes I am venting. It flores me how someone could put themselves in that position and seem to like it.
I don’t think I will ever understand. Some will say it is his low self esteem or whatever. You may be right but somewhere in his mixed up head he has to know it isn’t right. At least I hope so.
Father, I don’t even know what to pray for him but I do know You know what is needed. I pray that You will make happen what needs to happen. In Jesus name, Amen.