Lost and Found Friends

Oh man, I hate having my own advise thrown back at me. OK, I’ll put on a strong front and jump right in. Well, maybe a few little hops here and there instead. And the armor, well, that doesn’t exist.

Three years ago my world changed. For the better but still a major change. I lost all of my contact information. I was able to get contact information for family of course and most of my friends know my family, so I got theirs too. And there were a few I found with the help of Facebook. Now I am feeling the nudge to reconnect with the lost friends but I fear the “what took you so long” barrage of questions. Mostly because I don’t have an answer.

So maybe one at a time and see how it goes. I had become friends with one of my hospice patients. A very sweet lady who took complete care of her husband right up until he passed away. I would visit her several evenings a week and help her with different things pertaining to her husbands care. For hospice, I was mostly there for moral support but as we became more and more friends, I couldn’t help but help her out.

The day he passed away, I phoned to speak to her. Her daughter-in-law answered the phone. I was told that the family had everything under control and they didn’t need me. I was hurt, of course, but I also understand the dynamics of family and dealing with the death of a loved one. So I backed off and gave it a few weeks.

One day I decided to pay her a visit. We cried and hugged and she asked me where I’ve been. I told her what I was told and she was horrified. She had looked forward to seeing me and my continuing to be her moral support. I was crushed and vowed at that moment to never take the word for anyone from someone else.

So now as I remember how great it was to catch back up with her, I am reminded of the friends I need to contact and I’m not looking forward to their reactions. When the crap hit the proverbial fan three years ago, it was to them, as if I fell off the face of the earth. You see, they were my online co-workers. When that happened and for a few years after that, I didn’t have a computer and I couldn’t find my notebook where I wrote everything down. Only recently while going through a few boxes did I find the notebook. I stare at it everyday knowing the next day won’t magically make it easier. Then I wonder if I should even bother. Maybe it would be better to just let things be.

 

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2 thoughts on “Lost and Found Friends

  1. I’m so sorry! I can’t imagine having that happen!
    As a thought: If someone is really your *friend*, they will want the relationship back as much as you do. And if someone is really interested in continuing the friendship, any hurt they felt in the meantime will heal. And if someone is mad at you and holds a grudge and/or demands exact explanations and profuse apologies before they are willing to move on… then maybe that person just isn’t right for you.
    Someone like you deserves good, supportive friends. Anyone who gives you grief just isn’t treating you the way they should. End of story. You’re a beautiful person, Donna. You’re a new and wonderful creation in Christ. Anyone who treats you as less than that… “shake the first off your feet when you leave that home or town”. Friendships are meant to build us up and strengthen us, and if someone is destroying us emotionally, we have to say goodbye, because it’s not right or healthy.
    I’ve had a few relationships go down the tubes like this, and I wanted to make it work because they seemed like such a nice person, and as a result came out of it so emotionally battered that I’m still healing.
    I think it’s okay that you’ve waited; maybe you just needed that time to get emotionally ready. Give yourself the time you need. True friends will wait.
    Good luck and God bless!!
    ~ Kat

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    • Thank you Kat. I appreciate your views and willingness to be open and candid with me. I give similar advise to other people sometimes but when things like this happen to me, I don’t always see it with the same fresh eyes. I’ll let you know how it goes, when it goes. Thanks again and God bless you.

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