Loss of a Loved One

She glides across the floor like water on glass. She is adorned from head to toe dressed to the nines. She is eloquent, elegant and a most pleasant soul to know and be loved by. She is Cousin Janie. I remember her from my childhood when we visited my mother’s relatives in West Virginia. There, she would dance the night away from waltzes to line dancing and everything in between. Back then it seemed like we saw them more often. But as we grew older that time seemed to be few and far between. Funny how life gets in the way of life.

I had the pleasure recently of taking my granddaughter to see her along with my family. While she still looked like a million, she was much much older and not so fluent. She complained a little about her health but was still the majestic and sweet soul she always was. She was alone now. Had experienced the death of family and friends like we all have but you could see the loneliness in her eyes. You could hear it in her voice. Her loving soul was lonley for the old days when times were more familiar and her loved ones lived close by. I didn’t get to see her as often as I would have loved to and I neglected to call her as often as I should have. That I truely regret.

She died silently. Not allowing anyone to visit. Not allowing anyone to see her being less than the elegant soul she had always been. At first I was angry. I would have loved to spend time with her and listen to her stories about the good ole days. To comfort her and guide her into the arms of Jesus. Then I found out she was in the town next to us all along. Her daughter had brought her down out of the bad winters so she could take care of her. She was just a few miles away and I didn’t even know it. I didn’t know she was dying. I didn’t know I could have spent time with her. A part of me feels empty. But then I realized it was selfish of me to think this way. Her death was no more about me than her life was. She lived the way she wanted and she died the way she wanted. She didn’t love me any less in the process.

I will miss her!

 

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About Donna Lynn

I'm a grandma with Fibromyalgia who loves her family and wants to make a difference, even if it is lots of tiny ones. I live in sunny Florida and enjoy my time with family and friends. I'm living with God leading, hoping to someday make some sense of it all. I give Him the glory as much as I can and I love to share Him with everyone.
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