Best Laid Plans

I enjoyed putting last year to rest. My son’s house fire, actually the year before, their finding a suitable house last year, deaths and illnesses in the family and financial hardships. This year was looking up and looking to be the best year in a long time. USA’s return to human space flight, job advancements, better health test results etc. While the year started out looking great, things quickly changed.

I don’t have to tell you of the challenges this virus mess has brought to all of us. From the lies to the fear to the political bias. Sometimes we feel we are alone and on our own. But…there is hope.

Not being able to do life as normal is something we all took for granted. You can’t join your friends at the local pub for a drink and a bite. You can’t go to work. You can’t even go to church. I’m still not sure whether to think of it all as a necessity or if this has been used as a socialist/communistic type of dry run. I don’t mean to make that sound as bad as it does but I do think there are people out there who take advantage of every opportunity that comes along.

Our little town has also seen an uptick in domestic problems. I’m sure it is that way all over. Spouses are working from home or dealing with being out of work. Kids are learning from home making parents their new teachers and they didn’t sign up for that. Family frustrations grow as money issues continue to grow. Fear of when this will end and how recovery will ever be possible plague almost everyone. But… there is hope.

I also realized my normal depression has shifted to anger when I thought about just quitting, giving up, rolling over, not caring, taking social distancing to a whole new level of becoming somewhat of a hermit. Not worrying about anyone else and just existing because it hurts less. But I didn’t because…there is hope.

I became overwhelmed with trying to keep my parents safe, fed and myself the same. Not to mention two wonderful elderly ladies that live alone that we make sure have plenty of food to eat. I didn’t loose faith, I just got so busy I forgot to give God some of the load and the subsequent glory. Thank God we are all fine and doing well.

God never said if you believe in Me, your life will be easy. Something else He didn’t say specifically was that when you believe in Me, the devil will work harder to draw you away from Me by making you bitter, angry, fearful, disobedient, disrespectful…a hermit and many more.

You can find hope in Jesus Christ. Check out these promises.

God loves us no matter what.

Paul explains “For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39, NKJV)

God Promises the result is worth the risk.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28, NKJV)

God provides strength through faith.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13, NKJV)

We can’t do life alone. We were not designed to do it alone or to be alone. God is the answer and He is fully capable of carrying us when we become too weary to walk on our own. I am living proof.

If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you can.

“How can you know God personally? Only one thing keeps us from Him, and that is our sin. But Christ came to erase our sins by His death on the cross, and as we open our hearts to Him, He comes to live within us. By faith ask Christ to take away your sins and come into your life today—and He will. Jesus said, “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me” (John 10:14). (courtesy of billygraham.org)”

gf.me/u/x8hr8p

2020 and the Changes to Come

In 2020, many things will change naturally and on purpose. This is my journey of the changes I need to make in order to attack my health issues. It won’t be easy but then anything worthwhile never is.

I sent away for DNA and blood tests to check food sensitivities, metabolism etc., factors unique to me so, I can start to make these changes.

To my horror, Peanuts was at the top of the list. I live on peanut butter. It is my go-to everyday. But alas, I must make that change. Next on the list is Eggs, not just Egg Whites, but Egg Yokes as well. It will be easier to name what I can have.

Anyway, I also cannot have Black Tea. Really, I don’t drink anything but water and tea. Luckily Green Tea is OK. I’ll get use to it. Wheat, Kale, Pineapple and Ginger were very high on the list of foods to avoid as well. Rats!

So I have begun! I just made a pitcher of Green Tea. It’s actually good. Just not as strong a flavor as I am used to. I am planning on making a cabbage and sausage stir fry for supper using olive oil since I can’t have grapeseed oil. Go figure!

Right now I am feeling overwhelmed with not having handy the foods I can eat. I need to go to the store soon. I have been cooking for my entire family for several years now and had to tell my mom that until I get this figured out, she’ll have to do the cooking for the others. They are all grown people so it isn’t that big of a deal. They are just spoiled. So that is it in a nutshell, oh wait, I can’t have that…but I can say it!

God bless and Stay safe.

2017 and Fibromyalgia

I’ve been reading and listening to people tell me for years that to combat my symptoms I need to “move” more. Well, I decided to prove them wrong. I joined a gym for my Christmas present and started my new year, new me…lol.

This actually started a few months back when my sister said she would do something with me, if I’d do something with her. I’m not afraid of much but for some reason neither one of us can remember what it was I was going to do with her. So, we and a friend of ours did a tree trek together. Yes, with zip lines and walking on wires up in the tree tops. It was amazing! I had so much fun. I wasn’t sure I could do it but I was determined to give it a try. This helped to motivate me to give the gym a try.

On the first day I was optomistic. Start slow and don’t over do it. I worked my arms, back and legs. The tread mill was looming in the distance. I love to walk but the machine is very intimidating because I know that at certain settings and speeds, it can get the best of me. But I walked for 30 minutes, burned 100 calories and still felt optimistic.

Day two…not so much. I was pushing. I am sick of pushing. It is something I do everyday of my life just to get out of bed and attempt to function. I just want to exist at this point. But I didn’t give up. I worked out and walked my mile then I went home and took a nap.

It has been about 10 visits now. I’ve up’d my weights twice, again trying not to over do it. I’m walking with an incline which burns more calories and works the muscles harder. I can’t say I’m having fun but I have to admit I was not able to prove them wrong, yet. My good days seem to be better and I have only had four bad days in a month, which is down from my average of 14.

Try something different. It just might be the best thing ever.

Stay safe and God bless…

The Art of Misunderstandings

So, I’ve been busy for a while working on my Etsy store and dealing with other obligations. I’m back mostly to vent. Go figure! If I don’t, I might explode.

I am recovering from a bad UTI but I’m having lingering abdominal pain. I called my doctor last week, last Thursday to be exact, and have not heard back from them. I suppose I won’t. I plan on calling them tomorrow but I doubt if I will get favorable results. I know what the pain is. I’ve had it before. I have a new doctor since my previous one decided to go to a VA. Lucky for them but now I have to start over.

I have AS (spinal arthritis), Fibromyalgia, regular arthritis and a host of other things. Since they are mostly pain related, no one believes how much pain I am in. I don’t take pain pills mostly because they don’t work for me but also because I don’t want to give in and live like an addicted zombie.

This new pain is low and constant. Back in 2006 I had the same pain. I thought it was an ulcer. I was in the middle of a separation and my ex was making my life miserable. My doctor prescribed me a small little pill to take three times a day and it did the trick over the course of a few months. Who would have thought that anxiety could cause so much pain. I hate thinking I will have to prove myself all over again. Not to mention not being able to get a response from the doctor in the first place.

Pain and all, I’m leaving Friday for North Carolina, with my dad, for a weeks visit with my children and grandchildren. My dad gets to go with my son to a masonic shindig while we are there and that will be very cool for them. They haven’t had much grown-up time to spend with each other. I’m just looking forward to being able to take my dad up by train. Something I do often but he never has. My mom and sister are driving up the middle of next week. Then we’ll all drive back together. Yay boy! What fun that will be.

Well I’ve learned my lesson even though my feelings are destroyed right now. I will never try to include them in anything ever again. I won’t care when they say I didn’t let them know about something in time. When the grandkids graduate or whatever, I’ll go and they can see the pictures. It just isn’t worth this pain. So here I am. I’m trying to understand why my parents and sister don’t think the newest great grandchild’s Christening is important enough to take an extra vacation day to attend. I just want to cry. A once in a lifetime thing and they could care less. I just don’t understand.

Yes, I’m giving it to God but it still hurts.

Stay safe and God bless…